Revenge of the Jack-O-Lantern By Joel M. Andre

Revenge of the Jack-O-Lantern

By Joel M. Andre

© 2011 All Rights Reserved

For Michelle

The soft golden glow of the ending day painted the desert sky. Acting as a backdrop, the majestic purple mountains rolled along the Arizona desert.  It was a stunning ending to a perfect day. Holly Specter pushed her back against the post on her front porch.

It was these perfect endings that made her love the desert even more. As she scanned her hazel eyes across the land, a warm summer breeze rattled through her hair tossing it around. Taking a moment, she enjoyed as it pushed hard against her body.

As a former Miami resident, she had decided to pack things up and to explore the Southwest. Not that she was completely new to this area. Every spring since she was a little girl, her family would make the venture out to the Grand Canyon for a chance to explore its ever growing beauty. The marvelous drops and vast landscape had always left her wanting more. She loved the donkeys that could be ridden through the canyon and marveled at even the slightest things like the tiny scorpions that she was able to kick up from under rocks.

The only thing that she couldn’t quite pinpoint is why the family always came out here, without fail. The Specter’s didn’t have any family out in the area and for most people, seeing the Grand Canyon once was good enough. There were certainly people who came to study the area for scientific research, but from what Holly could understand, there was no reason for an executive in a paint making company to make the trek out here with his homemaker wife and two little kids.

Opening her eyes, she returned her gaze to the setting sun. Like clockwork, she would ensure that she was here every time that it went down and to welcome the night. There wasn’t much that she looked forward to and the setting sun was one of those things. The power and the beauty that it held really left an impact on her and it gave her a reason to push forward and continue to make it through a regular day as well.

Smiling to herself, she turned and made her way back inside of her home. It was a fairly small establishment, but it worked for her and her cat, Gary. The old rickety front porch could use a new coat of paint and even a few nails where some boards had started to come loose. However, it wasn’t something that she felt was terribly needed. After all, there were never guests to impress and Gary seemed to be okay with just having a roof over his head.

Stepping through the front door, she looked around the living room before her. A simple yellow couch with flower prints was laid out in the middle of the room. Avocado green carpet was spilled beneath it with a bright red shag rug. While it seemed like something out a bad decorating job in the 1970s, it was furniture that came with the place. At some point, when she could afford it, there would be some updating.

Gary rushed over to her and instantly smacked his head against her leg and he tried to tangle his body up with hers. Laughing out loud, she lowered her thin frame to pick him up. With a single scoop, she stood back up and had the ratty tabby in her hands. His green eyes burned into hers as he moaned in hunger.

“So it wasn’t even a truthful welcome home.” She laughed. “You are interested in something in your dish. Well, let’s see what mama can come up with.”

Kissing him on his head, she lowered him back down to the floor and began to make her way to the kitchen. As she passed the couch, she could smell the faintest scent of smoke coming from it. Taking a look at it, she stopped.

Never a smoker herself, she thought it was odd that the smell would be coming out of her couch now. Since Gary wasn’t likely a smoker himself, she wondered where it had come from. Shaking her head she gave it a smile and made her way into the kitchen.

As she turned the tiny corner, she was welcomed to a sink full of dishes. Next to the sink was the old dishwasher that had finally given up the fight and was nothing more than a decoration now. It was just another item in the series of repairs that would have to be addressed at some point. But for now, she just wanted to feed Gary and grab something for herself.

In the corner of the room, she noticed something shuffling around and turned to look at it. Gary was anxiously hopping around and prancing as he played with a tiny scorpion that had made its way into her home.

“Gary, leave it alone.” A smile crossed her face. The absolute innocence of her pet enjoying what he thought was a simple game was relaxing to a point.

Getting on her knees, she took a look at the hideous yellow tiles that made the floor in the kitchen. Part of her wondered if she could easily paint over it and cover up the dreary color, while another part just wanted to let the thoughts of the house go.

Pushing Gary aside, she grabbed a spatula and smacked the scorpion hard with it. The cat glared at her and flinched as the spatula smack sent a sharp sound through the kitchen, among the crunching of the body of the tiny creature.

“He could have killed you.” Her words were harsh at the cat. “You should be happy I saw him and came to your rescue.”

Gary stared back at the woman. His look wasn’t amused and he turned his attention back to his dinner dish. Noticing it was empty, he began to moan uncontrollably. Scooping up the remains of the scorpion and sighing heavily, Holly stood to her feet and shook her head.

Walking past the sink, she dumped the tiny corpse into the garbage disposal and then opened up a cabinet door. The soft oak of the door felt heavy and  was impressive for a home she was otherwise not too invested in emotionally. But the overall price and the beautiful cabinets certainly were huge points on her list of reasons why she should give this location a chance.

Looking through the cans, she picked up a tiny blue can that had a mixture of fish in it and smiled at her cat. “I think tonight is a seafood night!”

Gary gave her a look that let her know he really didn’t care what was going to end up in his dish, but if she continued to wait, his claws would be meeting her flesh. Getting down to the cat's face level, Holly kissed his head and dumped the can into his dish. Gary shoved past her and began to nibble on the food in his dish.

Standing up, Holly decided the best thing to do now was to wash up before making dinner. Work required her to drive 45 minutes one way and it proved to be a bear at times, but she wasn’t able to move any closer, because of her financial restraints. But, she had picked it up at a point where it was a buyer’s market and her $450 monthly payments certainly helped to offset the cost of gas each week.

Heading into the bathroom, she stopped briefly in the bedroom and grabbed a clean towel from the linen closet. She looked over at her bed, the fluffy white comforter was tossed off to the side and there was a patch of Gary’s hair on the pillow. Knowing that she should be more diligent to clean things up, she figured this was all her fault.

Walking over to the bed, she was just straightening the sheets when she heard Gary scream shrilly. Jumping around at the sound, she expected to hear the cat scurry in through the room. Instead, there was nothing more than silence. Curious, she began to walk through the home and peer into each of the rooms. As she entered the kitchen, she noticed the cat’s food dish was tossed aside and there was food on the wall.

Holly wondered if it was another scorpion in the home that ended up giving him a quick sting. Panic struck her and she anxiously began to walk around the home, looking under the couch and going through the cat’s favorite hiding places.

“Gary?” She called out.

There was no response and she could feel her heart racing. What if something had happened to him and he was already dead? Tears began to well up in her eyes as she anxiously searched for her beloved pet. Turning her head to look out the window, she noticed the lifeless body of the cat lying on the ground.

“No!” She screamed and pushed hard on the floor as she began to make her way across the house. Hitting the front door, she shoved it open and burst out into the cool summer night. Turning to the side of the house, she hit the stairs and lost her footing. Falling to the ground, she tried to adjust herself and hit against the ground hard on her side.

With the wind knocked out of her, she began to slowly blink her eyes and started to push up off the ground. As she adjusted herself she felt the hard slamming of a boot hit her chest. Looking up, she saw a set of red glowing eyes looking down at her.

“Who are you?” She groaned as she tried to keep the air in her lungs. “Please, my cat needs my help. If you could let me up?”

As Holly tried to push herself back up, she could feel the man slam his boot down hard on her chest. The sickening sound a cracking bone caused her to throw open her eyes and gasp loudly in pain. Coughing suddenly in fits, she pushed hard against the legs of the man above her and scurried back. Breathing hard, she could feel the soft trickle of blood coming from the side of her lips.

Trying to get to her feet, she could feel the man grab her hair and pulled her to her feet. Closing her eyes, tears stung her eyes as Holly tried to pray away the pain.

“There’s money in my purse. Take all of it. I really don’t care.” She pleaded; the digging pain in her lungs was making it difficult to speak.

“You’re money has no value to me.” His words were cold.

“Then what is it you want?” She pleaded.

“I’ve come for revenge.” His words were even and cold.

“What have I done to you?” Holly asked as she stumbled back.

“As if you didn’t recall.” His words were a snarl. “You hideous humans are all alike.” Even in the fading light, she began to notice something was off. His face was orange and cracking. Shaking her head she let her eyes adjust slightly and gasped in horror.

“But you aren’t a man.” She whimpered.

“Well aren’t you a quick one.” The figure stepped back and howled with laughter. “Yes, I am what remains of a Jack-O-Lantern.”

The triangle eye slots grew in redness as the beast stepped back and howled. Holly cringed as the evil pumpkin face backed up to get a better look of her. From her angle, she looked up at the hideous rotting face of the creature. One side of the pumpkin had begun to rot and was turning black. The mouth hanging open slightly was lined with snakelike teeth and rancid juice dripped from the side.

“You need to get some medical help for your face.” Holly pleaded. “We can go together. I’ll just tell the doctors I fell. You don’t need to kill me. Maybe I could help you?”

“Because a doctor can fix a rotting pumpkin.” The pumpkin responded. “Oh, you are a brilliant one darling. Maybe that’s why you are stuck in the broken home with a cat.”

“Or maybe I just like being alone.” She suggested. “You don’t even know my story. Do you even care?”

“Not so much.” The pumpkin answered. “Even if I remotely gave a damn, I wouldn’t want to take the time to learn your backstory.”

“But I was once different like you.” She smiled and reached out her hand.

The pumpkin knocked it aside, slightly annoyed. “I sincerely doubt you were a vegetable that someone brutally slaughtered for a holiday and then tossed aside on the road. I wasn’t even made into pie. Do you get how offensive that is? It was like my insides weren’t good enough to be baked into something special.”

“It’s probably a little too late for that now.” Holly offered. “You could become compost. Then your life could’ve served some form of purpose.”

Giving her a disapproving look, the pumpkin turned from her.

“You don’t get me.” Turning its back to her, it stepped away silently.

Pushing herself up off the ground, Holly walked over to him. Placing a hand on his shoulder, the pumpkin turned to her and their eyes met.

“Holly,” his words were soft and sensitive.

“Yes?” She asked cautiously.

“Do you like to play with your food?” His voice howled in laughter and he embraced her lips.

Holly closed her eyes and forced back the urge to vomit as the slimy tongue of the pumpkin slid around in her mouth. Pushing back, she wiped the rancid juice that slid down her mouth.

“What’s wrong with you?” Holly snapped and backed up. Trembling, she shook her head and tried to choke back the tears.

“I’m treating you like the disposable trash you turned me into. I was fine in the pumpkin patch. I had no concerns, no issues. Then you drew your knife and slashed this horrific face on me.” The words came out angry and short. “I was torn away from my family and friends for a single night of pleasure.”

“But Halloween was last night.” Holly replied. “It’s over and in the past. Couldn’t we just move on?”

“We could, but I only have one day for my revenge.” He whispered. “November 1, my hateful soul has the chance to avenge my broken shell and deliver my vengeance. Most pumpkins just move on to the afterlife, but not all of us. Instead, we come back and we take revenge against those who have brutally attacked us.”

“So, you have come back to attack me, because I didn’t turn you into a pumpkin pie and made you into a killer Jack-o-Lantern?”

“Well my dear, you did just that.” Shoving her to the ground, the pumpkin pinned Holly to the ground.  “Any last words my dear?”

As she began to mouth the word ‘why' with tears sliding down her face providing long needed moisture to the ground, the glimmer of the hammer caught her eye. Not wanting to see what was about to happen and praying it was all a bad dream, she closed her eyes and the heavy metal slammed into her face.

In her final moments, she shivered from the pain that she was feeling and thrust her arms around, trying to remain safe. But with each blow, she slowly became weaker and her thrusts soon became soft slaps against the firm body of the being.

As her broken and bloody body lay in the front of her yard, she could hear the pumpkin light up a cigarette. The soft and acidic smell of smoke slowly crossed her nose as she began to slowly fade into the darkness of death.

In the morning, the local police found the body of Holly Specter. Her eyes, nose and mouth had been gouged out and her brains had been removed. Behind the broken teeth that remained was a single tea candle that had long since burned out in the night.

Joel M. Andre

Originally, Joel wanted to be a poet growing up….but then things began to change for him. People took notice of his off the wall tales, and encouraged him to go in a new direction. That is why he is proud to deliver some of the most unique tales to date.

From, A Death at the North Pole, (a new revised edition is coming in 2011) to, Kill 4 Me, and his newest addition to his books The Black Chronicles: Cry of the Fallen, Joel has taken readers across the world, and painted worlds that are dark, sometimes comical and always exciting.

If you haven’t had the chance to read anything by Joel M. Andre, then pick up the new book today…..it will be a tale that plays with your fear and opens your mind.

Visit Joel at his website!

Spook-tacular Spotlights 10/21! Kids Edition

Beware!
R.L. Stine Picks His Favorite Scary Stories

Reading level: Ages 9-12
Hardcover: 224 pages
Publisher: HarperCollins (August 6, 2002)

Dim the lights. Lock the doors. Pull down the shades -- and BEWARE! It′s time to read R.L. Stine′s favorite scary stories, plus two new tales of his own!

R.L. Stine has gathered a selection of all things scary. Short stories, tales old and new, comics, and poems. It′s a spine-tingling collection of work by dozens of writers and artists who are famous for hair-raising fun.

Discover a ghastly secret in a retelling of the classic story "The Judge′s House," by Bram Stoker. Peek into a Christmas stocking that holds a shocking surprise in a Vault of Horror comic, "A Sock for Christmas." Meet an ice cream man who will chill your blood in "Mister Ice Cold" by Gahan Wilson.
But first, visit an evil carnival in "The Black Ferris," by Ray Bradbury. R.L. Stine says that this story changed his life! Find out why in his introduction. Be sure to read all the introductions -- because R.L. reveals why he picked these stories for you, why he finds them the creepiest ... the funniest ... the scariest!

Annotation

A selection of unsettling stories--one in graphic form along with two poems--by such authors as Ray Bradbury, William Sleator, Robert Service, Edward Gorey, Roald Dahl, Jane Yolen, and Mr. Stine himself.

*I had grabbed a copy of this at the library for my daughter and absolutely LOVED it!! I had to go and purchase my very own copy, lol!!


The Vanishing Pumpkin
By: Tony Johnston

In this "appealing, participatory, fast-paced" story, a 700-yeard-old woman and an 800-year-old man go out to the patch to get a pumpkin to make a pie--only to discover that their pumpkin's been "snitched." "A good bet for Halloween story hours."--School Library Journal. Full color.

Annotation

A 700-year-old woman and an 800-year-old man, both witches, go searching on Halloween night for the pumpkin someone snitched from them.

*This is one of my all time favorite stories to read out loud to my kids. It is tons of fun to use different voices and the rhythm is irresistible!


The Hairy Toe
By: Daniel Postgate

In this spine-tickling traditional tale, an old woman finds a hairy toe - and soon its owner comes looking for it!

*This is another absolute family favorite that is a blast to read aloud. No matter how many times you re-read this book, it never looses its appeal!







Goodnight Goon

By: Michael Rex

Goodnight monsters everywhere, in this parody romp with its own special twist!

“Goodnight tomb. Goodnight goon. Goodnight Martians taking over the moon.”

It's bedtime in the cold gray tomb with a black lagoon, and two slimy claws, and a couple of jaws, and a skull and a shoe and a pot full of goo. But as a little werewolf settles down, in comes the Goon determined at all costs to run amok and not let any monster have his rest.

A beloved classic gets a kind-hearted send up in this utterly monsterized parody; energetic art and a hilarious text will have kids begging to read this again and again.

*One of my son's favorites!


The Berenstain Bears and the Spooky Old Tree
By: Jan and Stan Berenstain

Illus. in full color. Three terrified little bears explore the inside of a mysterious old tree and go into, up, through, over, down, and out.

*This was always one of my favorites as a kid!


So, what are/were some of your favorite "spooky" stories as a child? What are some of your children's favorites?

Review: Ashes by Estevan Vega

Ashes
By: Estevan Vega

Format: Kindle Edition
File Size: 850 KB
Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
Publisher: StoneGate Ink; 1 edition (September 11, 2011)
*copy provided by author for review

Amazing darkness, amazing humanity, simply - amazing.  Ashes is a story that will brand itself upon your mind and burn there for a very long time.

I truly fell in love with Estevan and his writing from the moment I read his first release The Sacred Sin.  His writing voice reminded me of an early Stephen King or Dean Koontz.  Mr. Vega's storytelling goes to places many fear to tread and in turn creates an amazing story.  Ashes is by no means an exception.  Continuing on where Arson left off, readers discover what happened to both Arson and Emery, as their story unfolds, taking on a dark depth not for the weak.

I loved so many aspects of this story.  Those who have read Arson will particularly love the extra background story that weaves in of Arson's beginnings.  The story opens with this and continues throughout, adding provocative texture to the overall story.

Mr. Vega's writing style quickly and easily brings each one of the characters within Ashes to life, allowing the reader to connect with them  on several levels and feel right along with them - the desperation, fear, confusion and so much more.  Ashes is also a story that will reiterate just how far some people will go to obtain power - at any cost.  I can honestly say that there were times when I found myself so completely engrossed within the story that I found my surroundings blending into the background as I became so wrapped up with what was going on that I shuddered with the vivid descriptiveness.

Those who have not read Estevan Vega's work, you are truly missing out on an enormous talent.  This is an author who takes the darkness of the soul and creates vivid and incredible stories that will keep readers coming back for more and more.  I cannot wait for Mr. Vega's next work.

About Ashes:

More than three months have passed since Arson and Emery were taken. Taken and then separated.

And experimented on.

Salvation Asylum is more like a prison than a psychiatric facility. Unknowingly, Arson has become a vital instrument in a campaign set to genetically alter mankind. Enraged, confused, trapped, and unable to fully manifest his abilities, he wonders if he will ever see Emery again. His new existence is one crawling with questions. Is Grandma alive? Where does the fire come from? Can he become more than a monster?

In Ashes, book two of the ARSON series, nightmare and reality collide as Arson must embrace what he is and the haunting realization that there may be others out there, others like him.


About Estevan Vega:

“Close your eyes. Close your eyes and picture this.” To a ten year old, the simple task of sitting still and closing your eyes is almost as complicated as summoning an imagination after a lengthy reprieve from the world of make-believe. But both were required in order to bring Estevan Vega to where he is today. These simple words forced a disinterested child into writing. And the good grades and attentive audience that seemed to follow didn’t hurt.

Vega was born in 1989 in Connecticut, where he currently resides. Growing up, he fell in love with sketching comic book superheroes, watching movies, and listening to rock music. While his passion for art still remains, he now focuses his time on creating rather than copying someone else’s work through a picture. When he was 12, he knew he wanted to be a writer, so he began Servant of the Realm, what would become his first published book. Though the book wasn’t a national best-seller, it became the catalyst for everything that was to come. The Sacred Sin, a dark, psychological thriller about a soul-stealing madman, was released three years later to considerable acclaim. These two published titles spawned a number of radio and television interviews, along with a blog tour and a book tour.

But still Vega felt there was a more important story lurking inside of him, one that wanted out.

His slow and intense rise into the literary world is rather fitting, considering the slow and intense burn that remains long after the final page of his latest and most personal novel to date, ARSON. Compared to Jumper, Twilight, even Stephen King’s Firestarter, there is no question that it will be the tour de force of the summer. Part realistic, part supernatural, it is a beautiful and breathtaking blend of regret and redemption.

Estevan Vega’s ultimate goal as a writer is to walk the red carpet at a Hollywood premiere… stay tuned.

Be sure to visit Estevan's Website!

Review: Picture of Lies by C.C. Harrison

Picture of Lies
By: C.C. Harrison

Hardcover: 326 pages
Publisher: Five Star (October 21, 2011)

Filled with mystery, intrigue and secrets, Picture of Lies is an incredible book that will hook your from the first page until the last.  Once I began reading, I truly found myself unable to put this book down.  The writing is so excellently smooth and gripping that I could not help but to feel as though I was right there within the story with the characters.

Keegan Thomas is a woman with a broken heart, aching soul and a need to sink herself within her work.  When she decides to take a bit of a break and do a bit of personal investigation to discover what came of people snapped in an old photo left behind by her Grandfather when he passed, she gets way more than she bargained for.  Secrets that were meant to be buried forever are slowly becoming unearthed and people begin to panic.

Not only is Picture of Lies an amazing story, but the setting is excellent and I loved the peek into the lives of the Navajo Indians.  With suspense and the slow build up of a bit of romance between two unlikely people - one trying to uncover secrets and another doing everything that he can to keep secrets covered -  Picture of Lies will keep the reader guessing and racing from page to page to discover the outcome!  I can't wait to read more work by C.C. Harrison in the future!!

About Picture of Lies:

Investigative journalist Keegan Thomas is living a nightmare of guilt and grief since her little girl Daisy was kidnapped practically in front of her eyes. When the police investigation dead ended, she turned her grief to anger and buried herself in her work. The result was an award winning series of articles on unsolved child abductions. Her entire life became shaped by a continual search for missing children, her own included.

On what is supposed to be a working vacation, Keegan travels to Monument Valley on the Navajo Indian Reservation seeking the whereabouts of people in an old photograph found in her grandfather’s belongings after his death. Her assignment? Write an upbeat human interest where-are-they-now feature story for Arizona OffBeat Magazine.

But the Indians do not welcome this prying stranger carrying a picture of their old ones, some of them dead. Archaeologist Dante Covelli, a walking wounded with secrets in his past, helps her navigate the mysterious ways of the Navajo, and eventually Keegan is told one of the children in the photograph was kidnapped by missionaries and taken to boarding school.

What follows is a web of deception that stretches back fifty years, and the truth Keegan learns about her own family is the most shocking betrayal of all. Nothing can prepare her for the danger she encounters when she becomes the target of a powerful senator who will do anything to stop her from telling what she knows about the PICTURE OF LIES.


About C.C. Harrison:

C. C. Harrison lives in Anthem, Arizona. She is the author of hundreds of articles and short stories. When she’s not writing, reading, or working out at the gym, she can be found in the mountains of Colorado or in some far-flung corner of the Southwest.



Please be sure to visit these other great blogs also on tour!

Monday, October 17th: As I turn the pages

Tuesday, October 18th: Iwriteinbook’s blog

Wednesday, October 19th: Cafe of Dreams

Thursday, October 20th: StephTheBookworm

Friday, October 21st: Joyfully Retired

Monday, October 24th: Stephany Writes

Wednesday, October 26th: Life In Review

Friday, October 28th: Colloqium

Monday, October 31st: Sara’s Organized Chaos

Tuesday, November 1st: Book Nook Club

Wednesday, November 2nd: Seaside Book Nook

Thursday, November 3rd: Lesa’s Book Critiques

Review: Devil's Hand by M.E. Patterson

Devil's Hand
By: M.E. Patterson

Paperback: 322 pages
Publisher: Digimonkey Studios (July 25, 2011)

Full of twists, turns and unexpected surprises, Devil's Hand is not for the easily creeped out or easily frightened!

When I began Devil's Hand, I was quickly pulled into the story of Trent - felt great emotions for his loses, heartsick for his traumas and seemingly endless setbacks.  Even though he has been deemed as the "world's luckiest man"; his life takes a turn for the nightmarishly worst.

Devil's Hand is full of otherworldly wickedness, demons and fights of good and evil and everything in-between, providing readers with a story that they will not soon forget. Tightly written, M.E. Patterson does an excellent job of pulling together several different avenues of fiction, fantasy and paranormal to create a well-flowing and entertaining story. I loved the characters and how they were brought to life on the pages. I found myself particularly attached to Celia, the young teenage girl who suddenly finds her life turning into a horrific nightmare that she has no control over.

In addition to great storytelling, Mr. Patterson's writing style is well put together and often times thought provoking. One phrase that I enjoyed and thought to be incredibly true for everyone was:

"But I guess that's what life is, he thought. A series of moments that slam into you whether your're expecting them or not. It's a crap shoot, and everyone's just hoping to get lucky."

Devil's Hand is M.E. Patterson's debut novel and promises to be the beginning of a highly promising career for Mr. Patterson. I truly look forward to more of this author's work and highly recommend readers who are looking for a non-stop thrill ride book to snatch this one up as soon as possible!!

About Devil's Hand:

A Las Vegas poker ace with supernatural luck is swept into a world-ending conflict between fallen angels and otherworldly shades, in a thrilling debut novel for readers who enjoy Dean Koontz, Jim Butcher, and Tim Powers.

The lone survivor of a tragic plane crash, Trent Hawkins inherited a mysterious lucky streak that made him famous, and hated, in the poker circles of the City of Sin. It wasn't long before the eyes in the sky threw him on the blacklist and chased him out of town. Now, after years away, Trent returns to Las Vegas, and walks right back into trouble.

As a serial kidnapper terrorizes the city, Trent and his wife, Susan, rescue a strange, thirteen year-old girl, only to find themselves caught in a fallen angel's plot to cleanse Las Vegas with an unholy blizzard.

As the neon dims and the city freezes, Trent is forced to make terrible sacrifices in order to protect his new charge, and learns dark truths about himself and the creatures plotting against mankind. Poker-playing demons, fallen angels, and otherworldly shades all vie to enlist his strange luck, and Trent must choose his role in the coming War, or watch our world fall to ruin beneath a blanket of shadow and ice.

Excerpt:

Chapter 1
“The end times are nearly upon us! We will all stand in judgment beneath the watchful eyes of our Lord! Come now, to the arms of the King, and repent! Repent for your sins, and you will find everlasting love in the—”
Bullshit, thought Trent Hawkins as he punched the tuner button and sent the radio frequency careening toward the next solid signal on the band. End times? Who even believes that shit anymore?
He had only listened to “Eddie Palisade’s Hour of Faith” for a few minutes out of sheer curiosity and a certain morbid fascination. Too hellfire-and-brimstone for Trent’s taste, but the syndicated radio show was immensely popular with the God-fearing crowd. Trent had found it on three separate stations as he searched the band for some decent music.
Thick drops of rain splattered against the windshield of the rented moving van. Ahead, the flat horizon glowed like a neon tube set in the sand of the south Nevada desert, and beyond stood the hypercolor wasteland of Las Vegas, a neon monstrosity to which Trent had no interest in returning. He looked sidelong at Susan, asleep in the passenger seat, smiling, blonde hair half-covering the pixie-like features of her face. He would do anything for her, though, even if it meant coming back here.
The radio hissed through a patch of white noise and then settled on an oldies country music station, a bit weak in strength, but listenable. Johnny Cash cried from the van’s tinny speakers, barely audible above the endless drumming of the rain atop the metal roof. Trent smiled. To Hell with Eddie and the “Hour of Faith.” He’d take Cash as his preacher any day.
He shifted uncomfortably in the driver’s seat as the van bounced along Interstate 15. His right thigh ached—an old injury from the crash—the only physical wound that had lasted. The wet-slick road trashed the van’s handling, making every steering adjustment a nerve-wracking event. He had always hated traveling. But after the crash, the hatred had become dread. He wondered again why he had let Susan talk him into coming back here.
He glanced at her, and then at himself in the rearview and used a free hand to adjust the angle of the gray cowboy hat. He didn’t think the hat looked silly. She had said that to him a few months back, on his thirtieth birthday no less, when he’d insisted on wearing it out to meet friends at a bar. She had been teasing, he knew, but still…
“You look ridiculous,” Susan had said. “Like you’re trying to be that guy from Pale Rider.”
“You mean Clint Eastwood?”
Susan frowned. “No, the character, not the actor.”
“The Preacher?” Trent laughed. “You think I look like an old-west preacher? I’m more like the guy in High Plains Drifter.”
Susan had smiled at him then, one of her smiles that made him feel weak and strong at the same time. She leaned in and kissed him on the forehead. “You’re not that guy,” she whispered. “That guy’s pure evil. He only looks out for himself. And that’s just not you, honey.”
Trent smiled at the memory and turned his attention back to the road, fingers drumming on the steering wheel.
Johnny sang out from the radio, “Well, there’s things that never will be right I know—” And then an intense, screeching burst of static, timed perfectly with a shuddering thump upon the roof of the van that set the entire vehicle to ringing. The noise dashed Trent’s smile and he ground his teeth together in surprise.
Susan sat up, alert and confused. “Wha—?”
Trent gripped the steering wheel even tighter as another massive bang rang out from the roof above him. The van skidded wildly on the road. He peered through the window, up at the sky, and saw white dots growing larger and larger until one of them resolved into a chunk of ice that slammed into the windshield right in front of him and exploded, sending icy shards in a radial spray across the glass.
Trent snapped back and his foot hit the brake. The cowboy hat flipped backwards off his head and dropped behind the seat. The moving van squealed and fishtailed, the popping coming faster now, rapid-fire against the metal panels, a sudden and tumultuous barrage of softball-sized hail.
“Shit!”
He over-corrected and the vehicle swerved on the two-lane interstate and crossed over the middle before he managed to bring it back into its original lane. Balls of ice smashed against the road and the van and it was all he could do to keep the tires tight against the pavement. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Susan, fully awake now, gripping the door handle in frozen panic, her lips moving, but he couldn’t hear anything except the pounding hail.
He turned his full attention forward again and suddenly saw the thing in the road. A tire? A hubcap? No, something green and rigid, like a piece of a highway sign. Trent threw the wheel to the left, desperate to avoid the debris. The van screeched, swayed, and veered off into the left lane again and then he heard the loud pop and felt the sickening sideways drift as the van careened out of control.
He jammed the brake to the floor again and squeezed the wheel in a death-grip, gritting his teeth as the van pitched off the left shoulder and headed for dirt. He wrenched his right hand free of the wheel, threw his arm across Susan’s chest, and felt her slam against it as the vehicle dove into the muddy desert and slid to an awkward stop.
The hail continued its staccato rhythm upon the metal vehicle as Cash sang, “Well I know I had it coming, I know I can’t be free—”
“Susan, baby, you alright?” Trent leaned across the cab, arm still pinning his wife to her seat.
She looked up at him, eyes wide and mouth agape. She blinked, and then formed a weak smile. “Holy shit,” she said.
Another massive ball of hail splattered against the windshield, making them both jump.
They looked at each other for a long, silent moment and then began to laugh, quietly at first, inaudible above the din, and then louder, until they were both cackling, foreheads pressed together. Trent kissed her and could feel her shaking with both laughter and adrenaline overload. He pulled back, looked at her with a crazed grin on his face, and shook his head.
“I think we blew a tire,” he yelled, gesturing behind him with his thumb.
“Holy shit,” she said again, still chuckling.
Trent looked around the cab for something—anything—that he might use as a shield against the falling hail. He thought about waiting the storm out, but it didn’t look like it intended to let up soon. He needed to get the van moving, or they might end up stuck in the gathering mud. He couldn’t see anything useful, just the old gray Stetson behind his seat—the hat the hospital staff had given him from the wreckage of the plane. They had thought it was his but he never had the heart to tell them it wasn’t. He grabbed it and put it back on his head, covering up his short black hair. He shrugged and kicked open the driver-side door with his foot.
“Trent!?” shouted Susan.
He turned to look at her. “What?”
She gave him one of those you’re-doing-something-stupid-again looks that both infuriated him and made him smile. Susan had an arsenal of those kinds of looks; it was part of what made him love her. And Trent had a history of doing stupid things since the crash. Maybe it was facing certain death and winning that had left him dull to the sense of threat. Or maybe the impact with the ground had just knocked a few screws loose. He wasn’t quite sure.
“It’s too dangerous!” she shouted. Another icy softball punctuated her statement by smashing against the windshield right in front of her. She winced.
“Gotta change the tire!” Trent replied. “Or we’ll get stuck in this mud!”
She stared at him for a moment and then, with a determined look, she grabbed the hardcover novel in the passenger-side floorboard, lifted it above her head, and popped open her door.
“Wait—” said Trent, but she was already out, yelling at the top of her lungs, the book barely covering her head.
He stared for a moment, irritated but not surprised. Susan was like that. Farmer’s daughter, never one to stand by while others worked. He shrugged and leapt out the driver’s side and into the pounding hail, expecting that he could make it to the back of the truck without any major damage. After all, he was the luckiest man alive, right?
The first ball smacked against his arm, bringing up an immediate welt and intense, stinging pain. The second smacked against his denim-covered thigh as he dashed toward the back of the van. The third chunk of ice crashed down atop his head. The sudden shot of pain was like a hammer blow, blinding, and he reeled and barely caught himself on a handhold at the back of the U-Haul as the cowboy hat tumbled to the ground.
Susan was there and already had the back of the van open and had jumped inside. She was rummaging through the few pieces of furniture and boxes. Trent grabbed the fallen hat and then managed to climb gingerly in next to her. He slumped down in a beat-up old recliner they had taken from her apartment. Most of the stuff in the van had belonged to Susan. After the Gaming Control Board blacklisted him, they needed money. Trent’s expensive items brought in more cash at the pawn shops. Pawn shops and the GCB—two more reasons he hated seeing that glowing city on the horizon again.
“Yes!” She held up an old whiteboard she had used while studying for her nursing exam. It was large enough for them both to hide under if they crowded close.
“That’ll work,” said Trent. He reached up to touch the sore spot on his head. His fingers came away with sticky blood. “Dammit.”
“Oh, honey, are you okay?” Susan set the whiteboard down and rushed over to him.
He waved her off. “No, no, don’t worry about it. It’s fine.” He jammed the Stetson back onto his head and grinned at her, but her expression still showed worry. “I’ve had a lot worse.”
She gave him a plaintive look.
“Come on,” he said and got up from the recliner. He walked over to the spare tire hanging on the inside wall of the van, next to a hand-crank jack. “Let’s change a tire.”
The off-road jaunt had sent the front driver’s-side tire across a jagged chunk of rock, cutting its rubber flesh like a knife. No way would this roll any further. Trent brought the new tire over, trying his best to avoid the crashing hail as Susan struggled to keep them both beneath the whiteboard.
They worked as a team, Susan holding the flashlight and whiteboard as Trent worked to break the lug nuts on the ruined wheel. Every few minutes, he heard her yelp as a ball of ice crashed down on some part of her that had snuck out from beneath the rectangular shield. He wanted to tell her to quit—to get back inside the truck and let him handle this—but he knew better. She wouldn’t leave him here by himself, even if he told her to.
Trent forced his weight down on the tire iron, struggling to break the last nut. “Dammit!” he swore, as the hail battered the whiteboard over his head. He summoned as much strength as he could find and gave the tire iron a powerful shove. The lug nut broke with a pop, nearly sending Trent pitching forward to the ground as the tire iron started to spin. He dropped to his knee, removed the final nut, and pulled off the useless tire.
The hail stopped, as sudden as it had come.
Susan looked up at the sky and then down at Trent with a quizzical look on her face. He shrugged. The rain had not abated, but at least the pounding hail had quit. She hesitantly lowered the whiteboard. A sudden, sickening thwack startled them both. They looked at the top of the van as Susan shone the flashlight on it. A thin stream of—blood?—was running in a rivulet down the white side-panel.
Trent dropped the tire and stood up. “What the—?”
Another splat as something landed on the van’s hood and they both jumped again. A fish? Another slammed down next to it, splattering Trent with blood. He grimaced and leapt back, away from the van.
Susan screamed as a sudden multitude of fish began to rain down. Panicked, she dropped the whiteboard and ran for the back of the truck, still shrieking, hands covering her head.
Trent watched her go, astounded. He had never seen her so terrified, not once in the years they had been together. She usually had a remarkable fortitude and a stern strength in the face of obstacles. But this… He looked up as dead fish began bouncing off the top of the van.
Fucking Eddie was right, he thought. It is the end times.
He grabbed the fallen whiteboard and sprinted for the back of the van. He reached it and found Susan curled up inside the truck, tears streaming down her face.
“You okay, baby?!” he shouted.
“Jesus Christ!” She looked at him with tears in her eyes. “What does it look like?”
Trent climbed in and put an arm around her. “It’s just fish.”
She sobbed. “It’s not about the fish, Trent.” Tears streamed down her face. “It’s everything. Everything’s gone wrong. We shouldn’t have come back here. The job at the hospital and fucking James and you didn’t want to be here anyway and your head and this place fucking hates us both—”
Trent grabbed her by the shoulders and kissed her on the lips. She kissed him back, hard. After a moment, they pulled away and Trent looked her in the eyes and smiled. “Come on, babe,” he said, gesturing toward the storm raging around them. “It’s just fish. Happens sometimes. Bad storm, tornado picks up some garbage from a lake and throws it a few miles. It’ll be over soon. Least it’s not hail.”
They stared at each other for a moment. Finally, Susan cracked a tentative smile.
Trent laughed. “You gotta find the humor in this, right?”
Susan nodded and took the whiteboard from hand. “Okay,” she said. And then, “Thanks.”
After a minute or so, the rain of fish lightened, and they made their way to the front of the van, to the ruined tire. Susan lifted up the whiteboard, just in time to catch another bloody slap on top of it. Trent dove under the shield and grabbed the spare tire. Something about fish dropping from the sky encouraged him to work harder on the tire. Then the pace picked back up again, as another wave of slimy bodies splattered against the van and the pavement and the muddy shoulder, some still alive, flopping and writhing as they died.
“This is awful!” shouted Susan, struggling to be heard over the thumping sounds of flesh against the metal van.
“At least it doesn’t hurt as much,” Trent replied without looking up from his work. He had two of the lugnuts back on the new wheel; two to go.
Susan stumbled as a particularly hefty fish slammed down atop the blackboard. Blood ran off the edges in glimmering red streams. “Hurry up!” she yelled.
“Okay, got it!” Trent torqued the final nut down and kicked the release on the jack. The van slumped back down, mud squelching from beneath the shiny new tire. “Let’s go.”
They dove into the cab and slammed the door shut. Susan scrambled across the center into the passenger seat. She dumped the whiteboard into the space behind them.
She looked at the windshield, now nearly opaque with fish guts and bloody smears. The periodic thumping against the roof seemed to have a predictable rhythm. “What the fuck?!” she exclaimed, laughing. “This is insane!”
Trent looked at her wryly. “You never been in a fish-storm before?”
She punched him in the shoulder.
He chuckled. “Well we better get this thing out of the mud. Hope it can still move. You need to be at work in the morning.”
The statement made him feel worthless. He had no job. It had only taken a year of unbeatable pro gambling before they blacked him out. A lot of money gained and a lot of money lost; now he did odd jobs if he could find them, and those rarely lasted long. Bad things happened at job sites when Trent was around. After the crash, when the swelling had gone down and his spine turned out to be intact, the doctors called him the ‘luckiest man alive,’ but he didn’t really feel it, not anymore at least. Except at the poker table, he felt just the opposite.
He glanced at Susan, who had pulled her blood-smeared rain slicker around her shoulders. The storm had brought an unusually cold chill with it. She grinned at him, still shaking her head. He smiled back. Well, mostly unlucky, he thought.
A trio of fish smacked wetly on the glass in front of him and then slid slowly down onto the hood. He flicked on the wipers, creating a transparent pink window amidst the blood, illuminated weirdly by the coruscating shafts of colorful light from Las Vegas in the distance.
He gunned the engine. The wheels spun in the mud, but eventually caught, and the van hauled itself back onto the road. The hail chunks had nearly all melted, but the dead fish were not going anywhere, making driving even worse than before. It felt like riding on grease.
Trent eased the vehicle back into the proper lane and gave it just enough gas to set it trundling down the Interstate, barely topping 10 MPH. Only twenty miles to go, but he figured it would be near-morning before they made it to the new apartment.
“Hey, hon?”
Trent glanced at Susan. “Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
Trent nodded, then ran his hand through his hair, matted and wet with rainwater and blood. He winced when he touched the spot where the hail had struck.
“It’s okay,” he said.
But he wondered at the truth in that. It didn’t seem like Vegas wanted him back any more than he wanted to be there. It definitely did not seem okay.

About M.E. Patterson:

M. E. Patterson is an author of sci-fi, fantasy, horror, and thrillers, as well as an information technologist. He received an English/Fiction Writing degree from Virginia Tech, where he studied under nationally-recognized writers and poets. He has published short stories on RevolutionSF and his first manuscript for his book, Devil’s Hand, placed in the top five in the Writers’ League of Texas Manuscript Contest.

You can visit his website at http://devils-hand.com or his blog at http://blog.digimonkey.com.
Connect with him on Twitter at www.twitter.com/mepatterson or Facebook at http://on.fb.me/dhnovel.

Kindle Freebies!

Please remember that these freebies are for a limited time, so act quickly and be sure to double check the price before checking out to be sure that it is still free!  Enjoy!!


A Change of Heart by Nancy Frederick

When her husband of many years abruptly abandons her, Annabeth is devastated but must learn to build a new life. Lacking confidence and terrified of the future, Annabeth hesitantly enters the world. Learning she must leave her beloved house, Annabeth feels that her entire life has been wrenched from her. She marches up to the attic to empty it, and as she confronts the memories of a lifetime, something begins to happen. Annabeth comes to a turning point, one you won’t want to miss.



Viridis by Calista Taylor

In steampunk Victorian London, where airships dot the sky and tinkerings abound, Lady Phoebe Hughes develops an herbal elixir, Viridis, unlike any other. London’s elite flock to her club to experience the euphoria and heightened senses the drink brings, an orgasm brought on by a single kiss. But when Lord Hawthorne is murdered after leaving her club, Phoebe is shocked to find that not only was he working for the Special Services to infiltrate the Cause, a movement fighting for the city's poor, he was also in possession of her secret formulation for Viridis.

Adding to her difficulties is the unexpected return of Mr. Seth Elliott, a brilliant tinkerer who stole her heart and imagination, only to abandon her when she needed him most. Unable to ignore all that is between them, Phoebe finds herself falling for Seth once again, only to have a powerful rival for her affections wrongly accuse Seth of attempted murder. As Phoebe struggles with a way to free her love, revolution, conspiracy and murder threaten to ruin it all.

*** Author's note: Some scenes are not suitable for those under 18 years of age. ***


Ascent by Amy Kinzer

For three teens going back to the past is the only way to save the future.

After years of recession a new political party is ascending to power. To control the United States they must offer leaders people will vote for. The Party has chosen a select group of teens to attend the Institute for Youth Development (IYD) for training to become the nation’s next leaders. But no one has a perfect past and in a world where every moment is captured on film it has become increasingly difficult to find future politicians. Everyone has something from their past they wish they could change.

Matt wants to go back and change the night he drove drunk and ended the life of his girlfriend and best friend; Farrah-Kate, the daughter of America’s most tragic actress, wants to save her movie star mother; and Rick is ordered to go back and change the night he hacked the governments computers.

Marvin Winn, a casino billionaire and Party founder has funded a device that will take the chosen back in time to alter their past. But not everyone is attending the Institute because they want to join The Party. And while everyone returns to their past, one person will choose not to come back, putting everything The Party seeks to achieve at risk.


Lady Deception by Rizzo Rosko

She would do anything for the money.

Though Elizabeth Holton is the daughter of a wealthy knight, she was raised in poverty after her mother ran away before she was born. ‘For your protection,’ she would say, but Eliza’s mother had to sell her body to cruel men to provide for her daughter.
After her death, Eliza made up her mind to become the lady she believes herself to be. She arranged for the local lord’s son to have an accident while out riding. But the men she hired were too severe. Instead of merely robbing Blaise Gray, they beat him and left him for dead.

Except fall in love.

For saving his life, Eliza is brought to live in Blaise’s castle where she fights her attraction to him, terrified of the pain she will feel should he discover it was her who nearly ended his life.
Though Blaise cannot deny his heated lust for the beautiful peasant girl who saved his life, he also cannot halt his suspicion that she may have had something to do with his attack. It wouldn’t have been the first time someone from the lower class attempted to use him, yet he finds himself falling in love with her anyway. But the confirmation that she had nearly killed him to become a lady could be his undoing.

Dark Horse by J.R. Rain

When high school student Derrick Booker, the only black student at a posh Orange County high school, is accused of killing his white girlfriend, ex-college football hero and detective Jim Knighthorse is hired to dig a little deeper into the murder. It doesn't take long for Knighthorse to realize that not all is as it seems at tranquil Huntington High, from a band director who preys on the innocent to a vice-principal with a secret agenda of her own. Not to mention someone's hired a professional killer to keep Knighthorse permanently off the case.

As the investigation continues, Knighthorse's personal life is shattered by the discovery of new evidence relating to his mother's unsolved murder, a murder dating back twenty years. Reeling from the discovery, a determined Jim Knighthorse sets out to bring two killers to justice.

Spook-tacular Spotlights 10/16!

Hope everyone is getting in some great spooky reading this month!!! I know I have and have tons left that I want to read. Have you read any books that particularly stuck out so far? If so, please share!!


Pig Island by Mo Hayder (Kindle)(paperback)(Nook)

A bone-chilling new mystery from the acclaimed author of The Devil of Nanking, Mo Hayder , a rising star of hardcore horror fiction, returns with a riveting and macabre novel that explores the evils committed in the name of faith. Journalist Joe Oakes is a born skeptic who makes his living exposing supernatural hoaxes. But his stay with a cult-like religious group on Scotland's remote Pig Island might be enough to turn him into a believer. When the island erupts into bloodshed, Oakes must abandon everything he thought he knew to discover the secret behind exiled cult leader Malachi Dove, who lives alone behind a wall of electricity and toxic waste on the island's far end. As the cataclysm of violence crashes down around him, Oakes is ultimately forced to confront the very nature of evil itself.


The Strange Man by Greg Mitchell (paperback)

Dras Weldon is a twenty-two-year-old unemployed washout. He lives in a world populated by horror movies and comic books, content to hide in the shadow of adolescence. Under the scrutinizing eye of his older brother, Jeff, a pastor, Dras lives a life of professed Christianity with very little observable spirituality. He must change. However, when a demon known only as “the Strange Man” comes to his small town of Greensboro and threatens Dras’s best friend, Rosalyn Myers, Dras discovers that only by putting his faith into action can he save his friend from danger. Suddenly he is thrust into a race against the clock and forced to battle demonic forces in an effort to convince Rosalyn to accept Christ and turn away from the coming evil.

Scream by Mike Dellosso (Kindle)(Nook)

While talking to his friend on the phone, Mark Stone is startled by a cacophony of otherworldly screams. Seconds later, a tragic accident claims his friend’s life. When this happens several more times—screams followed by an untimely death—he is compelled to act.

Battling his failure as a husband and struggling with his own damaged faith, Mark embarks on a mission to find the meaning behind the screams and hopefully stop death from calling on its next victim. When his estranged wife is kidnapped and he again hears the screams as she calls from her cell phone, his search becomes much more personal and much more urgent.





Nightmare by Robin Parrish (paperback)(Kindle)(Nook)

Ghost Town is the hottest amusement park in the country, offering state-of-the-art chills and thrills involving the paranormal. The park's main ride is a haunted mansion that promises an encounter with a real ghost.

When Maia Peters visits during her senior year of college, she's not expecting to be impressed. Maia grew up as the only child of a pair of world-renowned "ghost hunters," so the paranormal is nothing new. In fact, the ride feels pretty boring until the very end. There, a face appears from the mist. The face of Jordin Cole, a girl who disappeared from campus a year ago.

Convinced what she saw wasn't a hoax and desperate to find answers to Jordin's disappearance, Maia launches into a quest for answers. Joined by Jordin's boyfriend--a pastor's kid with very different ideas about the spirit realm--Maia finds herself in a struggle against forces she never expected to confront.

Review: A Christmas Secret by Candace Hall

A Christmas Secret
By: Candace Hall

Reading level: Ages 4-8
Perfect Paperback: 36 pages
Publisher: Tate Publishing (July 5, 2011)

Have you ever read a book whose story instantly wrapped itself around your very heart and soul?  A Christmas Secret did that for me. As I read the final page, I felt my heart soar and a huge smile on my face.  Yes, this is a children's story, but honestly I feel that it is a story perfect for everyone of every age.

Cradled within the covers of this small book is a lesson that is larger than the universe.  It is a lesson that no matter where you come from, love is always there to give.  Love and acceptance.

The story of a sweet and adorable lost little kitten who, with a bit of help, finds its way to the North Pole.  Afraid of what will happen if O'Malley is discovered the resident's of the North Pole gather together to figure out what to do with this little ball of furry love.  After all, the kitten is not from the North Pole and no one who was born and raised there can stay because of the magic/secret.  However, at the end of the book, everyone, including O'Malley, is in for a heartwarming and huge surprise!

A Christmas Secret is truly an amazing book and one that should hold a place of honor in every household, no matter your age, race and religion.  I highly recommend it for everyone!

About A Christmas Secret:

When Santa's reindeer discover a lost kitten named O'Malley, they have no choice but to rescue him and bring him back to the North Pole. Soon all the residents of the North Pole are doing their part to save O'Malley, including Broome, the head elf, and Wilma the mouse. Because only those who were born in the North Pole can live there, everyone decides to keep O'Malley a secret until O'Malley goes missing. Will O'Malley be able to stay in the North Pole? What will Santa think about A Christmas Secret?


About Candace Hall:

Who would have thought a California girl would grow up to love the magic of a snowy Christmas and the mysteries of the North Pole. The scent of pine needles fills the air as the sleepy eyes of six small children begin to open. Then it begins “The Great Race.” Who will get to the presents first? The sounds of wrapping paper tearing, children laughing, and toys strewn everywhere. This was Christmas Day for Candace Hall’s family in Los Angeles, California. There were no snowflakes and Santa led a parade down Hollywood Blvd. As time passed and growing up continued, sunny California was left behind, Texas became home and there was snow at Christmas.

There were no empty hours in a day to begin writing, even though Candace’s pen had touched a page or two, no real stories began to unfold until her health forced me to retire. It was then that real life experiences and her love of Christmas and a special black kitten turned into “A Christmas Secret.”
Writing has now become Candace’s passion and with the help of the good Lord there will be more stories and adventures to be shared.

Candace’s latest book is a delightful holiday children’s book called A Christmas Secret.
You can visit her website at www.candacehallbooks.com. You can also connect with Candace on Twitter at www.twitter.com/HallCandace.

The 9 Weirdest Horror Movies Ever Made! Do you agree?!

Who doesn't love a great horror movie during the month of October (or throughout the year, for that matter)?!  With horror, you can stumble across cheezy, stupid, horrifying, nightmarish, campy or several other types of movies.  Well, I recently received an email from Katina Soloman (*waving* Hi Katina and gang!)  with a blog post that they put together titled "The 9 Weirdest Horror Movies Ever Made".  I will be honest, I have not heard of a single one of these *gasp, I know!*, but thought it would be tons of fun to share with readers.  If you have seen them - speak up!  Don't be afraid, I won't think badly of you (other than a couple of seconds, lol)  To check out other great lists and interesting information, but sure to click here to visit their blog!

The 9 Weirdest Horror Movies Ever Made

All horror movies are weird, when you think about it. How often do you really find yourself fighting a psycho in a hockey mask when you go camping? Or worrying about whether your local hospital will suddenly start spitting out zombies? Not that often. Even so, some horror movies look like documentaries compared with some of the genre's weirder entries. You want a possessed bed? Evil snow? Sentient human waste? Then you're in luck. Here are 10 of the weirdest horror movies ever made, for anyone feeling brave or bored enough to give them a try. Don't say we didn't warn you, though.

1. Death Bed: The Bed That Eats

   Immortalized in a Patton Oswalt routine, Death Bed: The Bed That Eats offers everything its title promises. There's a bed, and it eats people who sleep on it. Period. Released in 1977 by writer/director/producer George Barry — who is apparently a one-man operation for gems like this one — the film tells the story of a bed possessed by a demon that kills and eats anyone who tries to sleep or make love on it. The production values are, to put it kindly, not very good, but the final product is just crazy enough to be watchable. Just sit on a couch when you do.

2. Tourist Trap

   The 1970s and 1980s were kind of a golden era for weird American horror. The genre was still considered an illegitimate offshoot of "real" filmmaking, and it took game-changers like The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and Halloween to start convincing people that horror was more than just goofy shocks. That was a tough fight, too, because movies like Tourist Trap were nothing but goofy shocks for 90 minutes at a time. And make no mistake: This is a weird movie. It's all about a group of friends who stumble upon an old man who owns a run-down museum full of mannequins and wax figures that he — wait for it — controls telepathically. He picks the kids off and turns them into plastic monsters to fill up his collection. Creepy, darkly humorous, and definitely worth your time.

3. Teeth

   Mitchell Lichtenstein's slightly campy, definitely uncomfortable horror movie deals with a teenage girl cursed with vagina dentata. It is every bit as awkward and weird as it sounds — it's not uncommon for the horror to happen just out of frame, only for a severed organ to fall with a thump to the ground — and its unevenness keeps it from working as a thriller or a comedy. It's not straight enough to be scary, and it's not nearly funny or smart enough to play as a satire. It's just off-putting.

4. Cannibal! The Musical

   Before they got going with South Park, Trey Parker and Matt Stone did what all college students do: They made a musical about cannibalism in the days of gold prospecting. Originally titled Alferd Packer: The Musical and retitled Cannibal! The Musical when it was picked up for distribution, the horror-comedy tells the tale of Alferd Packer, a prospector involved in a cannibalism incident in the winter of 1873 on a journey from Utah to Colorado. The movie is hilarious and bizarre in equal measure, veering from upbeat songs to moments of absurd gore with a glee that Parker and Stone would later bring to their landmark animated series. Watch it for the experience, but don't be surprised if you start humming the songs. (Photo above courtesy of Troma.)

5. The Baby

   Now this is one for the books. Released in 1973, the film revolves around a social worker who starts working for a family whose patriarch is a mentally impaired man in his 20s who still crawls around and acts like a baby. The man is also regularly abused and sexually assaulted by his mother and sisters (and a babysitter). It's a psychological thriller with a bizarre execution, and it's the kind of insane flick that fell through the cracks of the world and drifted through grindhouses and cable stations in the years after its debut. The ending is the perfect capper to a twisted story. It's a horror movie, yes, but more than anything it's just crazy.

6. Monsturd

   Monsturd is a haunting examination of man's own inhumanity in a postmodern age. Kidding! It's about a killer made of poop. It's a real movie, too. You can buy it and everything. Released in 2003 to an unsuspecting world, Monsturd is about a serial killer who escapes his pursuers by hiding in a sewer, only to fall into a pool of chemicals that turns him into a monster that's half-man, half-feces. Understandably unhappy about his new form, the Monsturd throws himself into a rage-fueled killing spree. Does Monsturd come up through toilets to get people? Watch and find out! Or don't. Actually, just don't. It's boring, badly acted, and impossible to watch without being dangerously drunk. Just enjoy the premise and move on.

7. Night of the Lepus

   If you know your Latin, you know that "lepus" means "hare." That's right: This is a horror movie about giant killer rabbits. Based on the comedy-horror novel The Year of the Angry Rabbit, the film loses any hint of satire or social commentary and goes right for awful scares and laughable effects. The mutant rabbits that do the killing are played by real rabbits set against miniature sets or by humans in rabbit costumes, which makes the film about as scary as an episode of Yo Gabba Gabba! and twice as surreal. All silly, no scary, and weird as can be.

8. House

   This Japanese horror flick from 1977 has a considerable cult following and even earned a recent remastering as part of the Criterion Collection. But don't be fooled: It's deeply, bravely weird. It will break your brain. The plot very loosely deals with a young girl who travels with a few of her classmates to her aunt's home, only to find herself doing supernatural battle with a sentient house that wants to kill them. That description actually sounds somewhat normal (ish) until you see the actual movie. It's a masterpiece of WTFery that can never be topped.

9. Mystics in Bali

   Cheap, Indonesian, and not at all worried about making sense,Mystics of Bali is in the running for weirdest of the weird. The story follows a woman who heads to Bali to investigate the locals and their history of witchcraft; yada yada yada, she befriends a demon queen and transforms into a variety of animals before eventually terrorizing the village as a severed head on a stump of organs. You know, as one does when one goes to Bali. The film's straightforward presentation of twisted images and gore make it a surrealist's dream come true, and it relies more on sheer bizarre ideas than typical shocks and scares. Not for the faint, but a must for the curious.